


a dark world aches for a splash of the sun

by DangerousReality



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Coming of Age, M/M, a little making out, cross dressing, eh, pre-trans!luke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-20
Updated: 2015-01-20
Packaged: 2018-03-08 10:39:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3206207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DangerousReality/pseuds/DangerousReality
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He had the feeling that something was off about him. Like he wasn't in his own skin, he wasn't himself. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Or, transgender!Luke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a dark world aches for a splash of the sun

Ever since he was younger, he had the feeling that something was off about him. Like he wasn't in his own skin, he wasn't himself. 

Growing up with two brothers and a father was absolute hell. The older three wanting Luke to live in their footsteps, playing football, hitting on girls, and just being the man he wasn't worked out to be. He didn't have the heart to tell them that he didn't want this. He didn't want to just be a man about things. He wanted to be himself. 

On the day of his 16th birthday, he had finally decided on who he was as a person. Who he wanted to be and what he wanted to become within the next years. He wanted to be pretty. He wanted to be loved by someone with broad shoulders and firm hands and sharp jawline. He wanted to be himself, someone who could wear what he wanted without being judged for it. 

3 months into being 16, he made his first purchase into being a new person. A pair of red lace lingerie and, a few cosmetic items (lipstick, fake eyelashes, a light shade of powder foundation). When he went to check out, the girl at the counter smiled at him. 

"Fun night with a lucky lady?" She scanned the cosmetics, slipping them neatly one by one into a plastic, yellow bag. He blushed, not knowing how to answer that. 

He cleared his throat. "Ju-just myself really." He answered in a low tone, afraid of a possibility of judgement from the older girl. He secretly hope that she hadn't heard him and changed the topic to something easier and less awkward for him. Like, the weather recently or- or sports- which he knew nothimg about, but he would try. 

She looked up at him, with a glint of something in her eyes. It was silent for a moment, just the sound of the scanner going off every now and then and her pressing buttons into the machine. 

"You know thats ok, right?" The sudden soft-sounding tone of her voice scared him. "It's ok to be different in today's world. This judgement crap world definitely needs difference from the plain boy-meets-girl stereotype."

Luke remained silent, just taking in what she said as he took out his wallet. 

"Oh and your total is $29.53." 

He gave the money to her, and took the bag from her hands, muttering a silent "thank you" as he left the building.

 

When he got home he ran upstairs, shouting a greeting to his parents before going into his room and locking his door. He sat on his bed and emptied all the contents out of his bag and grabbed the eyeliner he stole from his mother, heart beating rapidly as he examined all the items. Lingerie. Makeup. Lingerie and makeup. Makeup and lingerie. (It's going to take a while to get used to this.)

He quickly stripped himself down and got into the shower, grabbing the razor he normally used to shave his face. He used it instead to shave his legs. Smooth, soft legs. Every girl he knows has them, and so to be a girl, he needs them too. During the procress, he knicked himself twice. "Beauty is pain. Pain is beauty." He mutters to himself, like a mantra as he winced from the slight burning pain. 

He got out and literally wiped himself down, barely drying himself. Too much in a hurry to finally be able to feel pretty about himself. As he put on the laced fabric and applied the dark red lipstick and eyelash extensions on, he began to feel as a whole. He began to feel normal for once, like he was being the right person for once in his life. He wasn't doing anything wrong.

After taking one look in the mirror, he fell in love. Fell in love with the colors on his face, and the lace on his body and his soft smooth legs. This is who he wanted to be. 

He took out his phone, and took several pictures of himself. His face, his body, the way his bum looked in the underwear. He knew it wasn't the best idea, in case anyone went through his phone, but he needed to remember this. Just in case worse comes to worse. 

"Luke!" A heavy knock was on his door, and he squealed, running around his room to gather his jeans and a t-shirt to slip on. "Lucas! Calum's here to see you!' 

He grabbed a towel to wipe off his lipstick, and pulled off the fake eyelashes, trying to hurry up and hide his real person. He wasn't ready for people to know. Especially this way, his mother and best friend finding him in red lingerie. 

"Coming!" He opened the door, grabbed Calum's hand and pulled him inside, waving goodbye to his mom. Calum was thrown onto the bed, as Luke pushed the contents of what was left under his bed. 

"Wow. Uh. Luke, you ok?" Calum asked, watching the younger lay down at the end of the bed as he panted heavily. Luke nodded, closing his eyes and pressing the back of his hand to his forehead as he tried to catch his breath. The younger left Calum lean towards him. "A-are you wearing makeup? Like eye stuff?"

The blonde's heart stopped and breath caught in his throat as he looked at the boy in front of him. He shot off the bed and was across the room fast, eyes widening as he took in the boy's facial expression. Confusion. Plain confusion. 

"Luke? You don't have to be scared of whatever you think I'm going to do. I'm just confused and a little curious, that's all," Calum spoke in a soft, calming voice. "We've been friends since we were little kids. You think I'm gonna judge you for this?"

"I-i didn't want anyone to f-find out like this, Calum," the younger whispered, nearly inaudibly. Calum stood up slowly, walking towards Luke cautiously as if he was approaching a wild animal. 

"Luke, please don't be worried about what I think of you," Calum whispered, taking Luke's hands into his and staring into his blue eyes. "If you are wondering what I'm thinking right now, I think you look beautiful and amazing."

Luke looked up as his jaw dropped. He pulled away from Calum, brow furrowing as he took in what the older just said. "N-no. I'm not. I'm weird because I can't be myself and I feel uncomfortable whenever I look at myself in the mirror, with normal boy clothes. Wh-why are they even labeled to a certain gender, Cal? Men should be able to wear makeup and dresses without being judged for it. I- why can't I have that, Cal?"

Calum frowned, grabbing Luke's hand once again. "This society honestly sucks. Everyone is judgemental and wants everyone to be the same. We can't all be the same, and it's up to people like you to put diversity between us. Appreciate yourself, Luke. I appreciate you so much, even though I've only known of what you do today."

Luke nodded, sliding down against the wall so he was sitting. He pulled Calum down with him so they were touching knees, face to face. Calum cleared his throat. 

"So do you just wear makeup? Like, I dont know, is it just makeup you wear?" Calum stuttered, face rapidly turning red as he tried to avoid Luke's gaze. Luke blushed, clearing his throat. 

"Well, som- sometimes. Well not sometimes because it's my first time putting it on. But I-i try other things to," Luke whispered in response, worried that Calum would judge him for this.

"Other things?"

His face went redder. "Other things, like, uhm, cl-clothes."

"Oh, like dresses and things? That's fine too."

"N-no!" His voice cracked in response, to the oblivious boy in front of him. 

"What do you mea- oh." Realization crossed Calum's face as he blushed. "Y-you mean like, underwear and stuff? But how do you fit your dick inside of it?"

 

Over the next few months, Luke had learned to accept Calum as someone who knew about him- the real him. Calum had even offered to buy himsef as a friendly gesture, or so he claimed. And those things were in range of a wide variety, simple cosmetic items to even lingerie, if Luke wasn't embarrassed enough to ask. 

Calum had recently bought him new sets of things, cosmetics which included more lipstick, a liquid foundation in which Luke found great use, and even a laced up corset top- as per request. The blonde felt absolutely in love with the items, sitting on his bed. 

"I appreciate this so, so much Cal," Luke's voice sounded as if it was in tears, as he ran his fingers over the fabric. He glanced up at the older boy, not catching the small look of endearment on his face.

"It's no problem, Luke. You're my best friend, and yeah," Calum smiled softly at the younger, watching as he grabbed the rest of his things from under his bed. He emptied them out, tons of makeup and several sets of lingerie slipping out of the box they were in. "Wow, I keep forgetting about how many things you actually did have."

Calum picked up a small, dainty thong between his fingers before having Luke yelp and snatch it from him. The raven haired boy giggled, ruffling Luke's hair. 

"C-can I show you them? The new thing you just bought me." Calum looked up at the younger's request, at a loss for words. He nodded, mouthing agape as he focused on his words. He didn't know what to expect from this. He figures he had feelings for the boy when they originally met, but he had expected that they had went away. Well now, they were coming back. Hard.

The younger ran to the bathroom, corset, underwear and makeup in his hands. He didn't take very long to everything, figuring he wore foundation and a light lipgloss on the daily. 

"Calum?" He heard Luke's voice through the bathroom door. He sounded worried, as if he were self conscious that this was a terrible idea. "Ma-maybe I shouldn't show you, ya know? Wha-what if-"

"Luke, Im not forcing you to do anything. If you dont want to do anything, we don't have to at all," Calum spoke up, silencing the younger. After about a minute of silence, he heard the bathroom door slowly being opened. The blonde slowly slipped out of the bathroom to reveal himself to Calum. 

He was absolutely breath taking. 

His long, smooth-looking legs perfectly complemented the lace underwear he wore. The blackcorset top fit perfectly across his chest, his small frame resembling one of a woman's. The makeup on his face perfectly completed him, the smokey eyeshadow matched with mascara. A bright lipstick finished the look, smearing slightly as he chewed on his bottom lip. 

"You look-" Calum cut himself off as he looked Luke up and down. He looked amazing. Perfect. Sexy. Wonderful. Hot. Beautiful. 

"Stupid?" 

"No! You absolutely don't!" Calum frowned, walking towards Luke and resting his hands on his shoulders once he got to him. "You are amazing, and beautiful and words cannot describe just amazing you look right now."

Luke blushed, teeth chewing at his lip more. "C-can I tell you something?" He nodded. "Well, ever since we were younger, like 10 I've had this feeling that I liked you. Well, obviously. But more than a friend, you know? Like I knew it was wrong and weird and a 10 year old shouldn't be feeling that way but I did and I didn't know to think about it until now. You probably don't feel the same way back, and it's completely fine if you don't, but just know th-"

Calum caught Luke's mouth with his own as he kissed the younger boy. Luke reached up and wrapped his arms over the taller boys shoulders, as the dark haired boy rested his hands on his waist. 

"Luke. Shut up." The blonde let out a breathless laugh as the older led them to his bed. Calum sat down and pulled him on his lap. "I've felt the same way about you for the longest time, and I guess we've both been too stupid to even realize it."

Luke turned to straddle the older, pressing his mouth against his own. He raked his hands through the dark locks, moving his mouth against Calum's. Calums hands moved to rest on the youngers bum, gripping the lace fabric covering him.

"Hey, Luke. You're brothers and- oh." His bedroom door slammed open, revealing Lukes father standing there. Luke jumped off of Calum and fell on the floor, covering his body with a blanket. 

"Uhh, dad!" Lukes face was beat red as his father took in the situation. His father did a little shrug when he realized what his youngest son was wearing. "I-i can explain th-"

"Just come downstairs when youre ready. Wear makeup or don't, I don't mind." His father closed the door and left, leaving the two boys breathing hard and confused. 

"Can we talk about what the fuck just happened?" Calum looked down at Luke on the floor, genuinely confused about the situation. Luke groaned, leaning forward and putting his head in his hands. "You know it could have been worse."

"Calum, please."

"We could have been sucking eachothers dicks."

"Calum! Stop!"


End file.
